I Don't Think I Am Doing This Right: How to Study Abroad the RIGHT Way

My name is Jaylen, a queer student of color from the University of South Alabama majoring in psychology, and I went on the Semester in Thailand - Mahidol University program for an academic year. I chose to study in Thailand to better understand queer culture in one of the most inclusive countries in the world and better my communication skills so I can work with future therapy clients from all different backgrounds.

With the first half of my time in Thailand coming to an end, one of the biggest challenges I faced so far is redefining what it means to study abroad. Before coming to this country, I thought the only way to study abroad was to travel every weekend, go out clubbing, and take advantage of currency exchange rates; however, choosing to spend a year in Thailand has made me more conscious of saving money and made the mainstream idea of studying abroad unaffordable. I soon became very self-conscious about how I was spending my time abroad because it did not seem as adventurous as my peers.

Something I later realized about studying abroad is it is very similar to the "college experience:" Most people think there is only one way to "do college" but it all depends on what the college experience means to an individual. Once I started to cater my study abroad experience to my interest and budget, my time in Thailand became enjoyable and I could finally appreciate all my host country has to offer. So if you are stuck in my same boat or feel like you are not studying abroad the "right way," then here are a few tips to "successfully" make your time abroad right for you:

1. Get comfortable with doing things alone 

This may be one of the hardest things to do abroad, especially when you might already feel isolated from being a foreigner; however, it is a skill I wish I developed earlier in my study abroad journey. There were many times when I missed opportunities because I was scared of doing them by myself, like going to a volunteer camp or exploring activities around my campus. If you possibly find yourself in this cycle, I recommend doing small tasks by yourself to build your confidence to do bigger tasks.

Recently, I have been getting dinner by myself. Full transparency, it sucks having to walk down the street by myself and I get super anxious about getting stares or thinking that people are possibly talking about me, but I am starting to get more comfortable with not caring what others think. I do not want to live a life riddled with anxiety because I will never be able to accomplish my dreams unless someone is near.

Right now, I am preparing to see my favorite Thai artist (MILLI) in person, and even if I have to see her by myself or feel nauseous the entire time at her concert, I will not let such an opportunity slide from my fingers. So, even if it may take some time or cause you some stress, I highly recommend developing a sense of independence while abroad to achieve a sense of freedom to do the things you want regardless if someone is with you or not.

I got a haircut and dye job in Thailand by myself. I have not had a full haircut in over 10 years and was nervous about how my hair would turn out, but I really love the pink on me!

2. Make friends along your adventures 

A sense of independence can also come with feelings of loneliness. Luckily, studying abroad opens you to a world of possibly meeting someone new every time you step outside. I remember going to see Moo Deng with a friend (YES, I was not by myself but just listen) and never expected to meet a kid interested in knowing where my friend and I were from; meet a guy from Texas whom we offered to take his picture for his wife and helped us find an easy way to find events in our area (Facebook events page); and meet a man from Australia cracking some of the funniest yet most serious jokes I have ever heard. I never expected to meet these people when I went to see Instagram's most popular baby hippo, but they were stars in their own right and made my time at the zoo memorable.

If you find it hard to start a conversation, especially with strangers, start with a compliment. Compliments are my go-to move to break the ice with strangers and make a conversation feel more natural and casual. So spark a conversation because you will never know who you will meet and how they could impact your time abroad.

(How could I forget about our amazing bolt driver who took my friend and me to the hostel we were staying in? The driver insisted that we take a selfie. I do not know his name but if you ever get him as your driver, know you are in good hands)

3. Look for events or holidays that pique your interest 

It is no problem going to tourist attractions or popular events, but also research things in your host country that interest you. Coming to Thailand, I knew I must see a drag show, and this Halloween not only marked me seeing a drag show in Thailand but also my first time celebrating Halloween! The energy of these queens was simply infectious. Every word they lip synced, their performance skills, and their gorgeous personalities made this night one of my most cherished moments in Thailand. Studying abroad is about learning about your host country, and learning it through your world lens may make your time abroad more enjoyable. 

4. Take pictures of your experience and post them on social media 

This was such a hard one for me because I feel awkward taking pictures, especially of myself. Thankfully, my school and my scholarship requirements force me to take photos and videos, so the camera and I have become REAL good friends. I did not realize how empowering photos were till entering my second term abroad. During my first term abroad, I made so many new friends, cut off my hair for the first time in 10 years, and accomplished some lifelong goals (traveling to Thailand, going to a Thai drag show, etc.), and I never thought moments like these would end. They in fact did end.

Something they don't stress enough about studying abroad for a year is that you will always be the last person to tell your friends goodbye and you start feeling extremely lonely from it. When my friend left to go back home this December marked the loneliness I felt while being abroad. The only thing keeping me from crashing out is reminiscing all the memories I had during the fall term, and this helped me come to terms that good times will end but that does not mean more is yet to come. My videos and photos of my friends made me grateful for meeting them along my journey and encouraged me to make more friends during the remainder of my time in Thailand. So trust me, take those photos to remember the happy moments.

5. Build your relationships up 

I poured a lot of my time into strengthening the relationships I made in Thailand since I did not have the opportunity to travel much. This opened many doors for me to receive a more local experience of my host country. Back in November, my friend P, a producer, invited me to the 2nd anniversary of the record label he works for. It was surreal to be one of the only foreigners at the event and I could not understand anything the MC or artist performing was saying; however, that could not take away this being one of the best moments of my life. Even though I could not understand the lyrics being blared into my ears, I felt the emotions and rhythm of the songs in my chest and swayed to the beat like it was my favorite song. This also marked my first time exploring more local Thai artists and they did NOT disappoint. 

Most recently, I went on vacation with my Thai friend Evie’s family. We took a 5-day road trip to the outskirts of eastern, western, and northern Thailand. Evie’s family took very good care of me by teaching me the history of the temples that we visited and encouraged me to try new things. I even got really sick during this trip and they nursed me back up to full health. Evie’s khun yai, or “grandmother” in Thai, does not speak any English, and she knew I could not understand Thai, but she would always yell at me to take my medicine or ask Evie’s mom how I was doing. I have never had such a level of love from a family that was not my own. I am glad to know I will always have a place to call home when I come to Thailand.

So take the time and get to know the people around you, that might show you a thing or two.

(This is my buddy Evie and her endearing Khun Yai)

(Plus Evie’s aunt is in the middle and her mom is next to me)

I am thankful for the CIS Abroad micro-credential giving me the chance to reminisce on my time in Thailand and teach others about my experience traveling throughout this awesome country. I wish someone had told me these things before coming to Thailand, but I will now let the people a not talked about enough truth of studying abroad. Whether you are already abroad or preparing to leave the country, remember there is no single “right” way to study abroad. The only correct way to optimize your time in your host country is to develop your experience around your interests and goals regardless of what others think. Hopes this helps and continue to explore the rich culture of another country. Happy travels, my divas.

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